I've been trying to keep it as a secret— that I am 4, 293 miles away from little heart, my son. it makes me feel sad whenever I try to write about it. it makes it more tangible, more real.
I had to give birth in Manila. I had to leave my less than one month old baby to my family. If you know how it hurts, if you know how I wish to turn the world around. If you know the reasons why we have to go through this you will know how painful it is to put these thing into words.
Documents. Forms. Records. Strange paperwork. Painful processes wasteful of time. Every little step accomplished I feel a day closer to my son. I feel like I am growing feathers to fly back home and finally kiss his soft cheeks.
I watch him grow everyday from a screen. I hear him giggle and coo in 4 hour time difference.
It feels like years pressed into months. I wish to feel tired arms from carrying, heavy head from sleepless nights.
It won't be long and we will be the small family of three that we were, for sure all of these will be worth it. Every time together will be precious. Life will be full of love and sweet baby scent again.
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